Values Clarification (ACT)

What values clarification is

Values clarification is a process from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that helps you identify what genuinely matters to you — not what you think should matter, not what others want for you, but what you would choose to orient your life around if fear, approval, and habit weren't running the show.

Values are different from goals. Goals are things you achieve and cross off a list. Values are directions you move toward — they're never "done." You don't achieve "being creative." You live it, daily, in how you approach the world.

Why it matters

Many people live on autopilot — making decisions based on habit, fear, obligation, or other people's expectations. Values clarification interrupts this by asking: "Is this actually taking me where I want to go?"

When you're clear on your values, you have an internal compass. You can ask: "Does this decision align with what matters to me?" That question cuts through indecision, people-pleasing, and paralysis.

Without clear values, you're navigating by other people's maps.

How to practise it

Exercise 1: The life domains audit

Consider these domains and, for each one, ask: "What kind of person do I want to be here? What matters to me in this area?"

• Relationships — What kind of partner, friend, family member do you want to be?
• Work/career — What makes work meaningful to you, beyond money?
• Personal growth — What do you want to learn, develop, or explore?
• Health/body — How do you want to relate to your physical self?
• Community — How do you want to contribute to the world around you?
• Creativity/play — What lights you up when no one's watching?

Exercise 2: The "what would matter if no one was watching" test

For each value you identify, check it against this filter: "Would I still care about this if no one else knew? If there was no praise, no recognition, no approval?" If yes, it's likely a genuine value. If no, it might be a "should."

Exercise 3: The 80th birthday speech

Imagine someone who loves you is giving a speech at your 80th birthday. What would you want them to say about how you lived? The themes that emerge are your values.

Exercise 4: Values vs. goals translation

Take a goal and find the value underneath it:

• Goal: "Get promoted" → Value: Growth, mastery, or contribution?
• Goal: "Lose weight" → Value: Vitality, self-care, or confidence?
• Goal: "Have more friends" → Value: Connection, belonging, or generosity?

Goals can fail. Values can't — because they're about direction, not destination.

Common misconceptions

• "Values should be noble or selfless" — Values can include pleasure, adventure, comfort, and independence. If it genuinely matters to you, it's valid
• "I should know my values already" — Most people haven't been asked. Values clarification is a process of discovery, not recall
• "My values should be fixed" — Values can shift as you grow. Revisiting them periodically is part of the practice

Which patterns this helps with

• People-pleasing — When you know your values, you have a reason to say no that isn't dependent on others' reactions
• Approval-seeking — Internal values replace external validation as the source of direction
• Avoidance — Values provide motivation to approach what's uncomfortable. "This is hard, but it matters to me"
• Learned helplessness — Values reconnect you with agency: "I can't control everything, but I can choose my direction"

Making it stick

Values clarification isn't a one-time exercise. It's most powerful when integrated into daily decision-making. Before an important decision, ask: "Which option is more aligned with my values?" This simple practice, repeated, fundamentally changes how you navigate life.

MindPatterns helps you identify the values beneath your patterns — and highlights when your behaviour is drifting away from what matters to you, so you can course-correct in real time.